The hardest part about getting a divorce is people care about you.
People care about you for different reasons.
Some people care out of curiosity.
Some people mourn for you.
Some people worry.
Some people pray.
But the hardest part is that they care at all. Because then you wonder what they’re thinking.
What are they thinking?
Many choose to share with you what they are thinking, and it’s not always pretty. In fact, it’s usually not what you want to hear. People are confused. They aren’t sure whether to congratulate you or say, “I’m sorry.” They don’t mean to be nosy, but they want to know WHY you’re getting divorced. Some people hide it behind truly good intentions, “I’m here if you need to talk.”
But regardless, the reason a marriage fails is usually a private one, and by the time you’ve decided on divorce, it’s been hashed out anyway. The reason is over. I just went through it; can we please not talk about it anymore?
The second hardest part
The second hardest part of getting a divorce is not living up to the standards of your childhood. Or rather, the standards of your family. In childhood and through adolescence, through the eyes of our families, we build an idea of who we are and who we want to be. But at some point, things stop being black and white. After a divorce, everything looks gray.
And you can’t make everyone happy. And that’s okay.
I’m finally at a place where I can be happy with myself. Even though I’m not perfect. Even though others may want different things for me than I want for myself.
The beauty of being an adult is that I get to choose. I get to choose how I live my life. I get to choose a good attitude every day. I get to choose to eat the foods I want and do the activities I find interesting.
And when I’m sad, it’s the kind and compassionate people in my life that remind me life is worth living. And for that, I’m blessed.
I’ve learned that you can’t make everyone happy. But your mom will still love you. And that’s the truth.
Courtney, my mother was married before she met my father. She is still dear friends with her first husband. The marriage failed not because they didn’t get along but because they were so good at being friends that they were not good at being spouses. They made decisions based on Rock Paper Scissors. They still have love and respect for each other and are wonderful friends. People may not understand why your marriage didn’t work but some of is know that it is possible to be great friends and not great at being married to each other. I have loved following you and your life for the last couple years. You are doing great. Hang in there. Don’t let people bring you down. We love you over here in the Johnson house. Thanks for keeping is updated.
I completely agree with the third sentence you wrote. Oh my goodness. So much. We were SUCH SUCH great friends. We still are. It’s hard to explain to people who want a better reason. I really appreciate your words Chelsea. Thanks so much for saying those things. <3
Mmm yea that is the reason I never inquired, it is such a private issue and it’s hard to keep it that way for anyone, especially a blogger. Bravo on keeping your head on straight despite everything.
Thank you Svetlana <3
Exactly! Courtney, you deserve to be happy! Everyone deserves to be happy! :)
So go be happy!!! :)
(But, if you don’t mind, keep sharing recipes, healthy stuff, and your happiness with us!)
Thanks Christine! I took a blogging break these last few months, but I’m planning on posting more soon!
I was thinking about this the other day. My theory is that because you have always been so respectful of your husband on this blog and only told us about the praiseworthy things in him and in your relationship to him that people feel like they knew you guys and that you were good together. Please keep posting despite all the help we readers like to give! It really encourages me to see someone else out there whose body needs extra TLC live a full life and figure out what works.
I still love and respect him very much. Frank is a wonderful, kind human being. We were great friends. That is true! We were really good together—but only as friends! That’s the hardest part to explain to everyone.