This post is Part 3 in a series I’m doing about the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. This book has helped thousands of people succeed in business and their personal lives, which is exactly the reason I’m reading it now!
Today’s topic is Motivation.
We are only interested in what we want.
The only reason you ever do something is because you desire a result. Let that sink in for a moment. Can you think of anything you’ve done without a desired result? I can’t. The result can change into anything depending on the situation.
For example, if you have a project due at work, you might be motivated by different things. You could be motivated to do a good job because (1) you know your work will make a difference in your community OR (2) you want praise for a job well done OR (3) you don’t want to get hassled by your boss(es), like this guy:
Regardless, if you’re doing something, you have a motive. It’s finding this motive in others that allows us to arouse an eager want.
Get others to do what you want…AND what they want
Now, I’m not talking about being manipulative. Not at all. I’m talking about stepping into another person’s shoes, discovering what is important to them, and then using that to find a mutually beneficial solution for both parties.
Say you want money, so you decide you need a job. You can’t just walk up to any establishment and demand money. You have to have something to offer in return. So you say, “I can help your business flourish by offering you X, Y, Z,” and in turn they say, “Okay, we can offer you $X to do those things.” If it seems fair to both parties, congratulations! You’re hired!
Okay, let’s do another scenario. Say you found the perfect apartment. It’s the perfect distance between school and work, the perfect size, the perfect price. The only problem is that there is no washer and dryer in the unit, and that’s really important to you. So you make a proposition to the landlord. You say, “I’ll sign a 2 year lease” (what landlord doesn’t like that?) “if you install washer/dryer hookups in the unit and provide a washer and dryer. In addition to that, after I leave in 2 years, you’ll be able to rent the apartment for more because you’ll have an additional amenity.” Well, that’s exactly what I did, when I moved into my college apartment, and my landlord said YES! He got 2 years of guaranteed rent, was able to raise the rent after I left, and I was able to do my laundry in my home for the 2 years I lived there. Win-win!
Want your children to eat more veggies? Why not try growing some with them? If they take pride and find joy in growing their own food, they will also take pride in eating it.
This post is short, but I think you get the point:
If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own. (Henry Ford)
Take care folks!
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